You just took the first step toward something permanent. Not another attempt at stopping — an actual solution.

Here's what it's the first step of.

I could stop. I did it loads of times. I'd have a good week, feel quite pleased with myself, and then something small would happen — usually a conversation where I'd said yes when I meant no — and by the evening I'd have talked myself all the way back round to it.

I decided the problem was that I wasn't trying hard enough. It wasn't. I was trying incredibly hard. I was just putting all of that effort on the wrong thing.